Kari's Place

When it Rains.....

2012-02-08T12:26:00.010-06:00

When it rains, it pours.
Not only am I on day 5 of being sick, but yesterday our water heater went out. Hole in the bottom, needs to be replaced. Because I don't know this type of stuff, I called Jon (the ex), and asked him where I should go to get a new one. Lo and behold, his company has them and installs them. What an answer to prayer. He also said he would give it to me at employee pricing. So, this morning Jon and Seth drained and took out our old water heater, so that the technician who is to put in the new water heater, wouldn't have to clock hours to charge me for it. Nice, right? Seth hung around and worked with Don, the technician. While they were working on the installation of the water heater, the furnace came on.
Our furnace is is old and when it starts up, it makes a ridiculous sound. I know this, and it's been like this for a long time. Don, being a professional, decided he had better take a look at the furnace, because it shouldn't sound like that. His inspection revealed that there are several holes in the heat exchanger. (If I said that wrong...go ahead and laugh!) Don immediately disconnected the heater and put a CONDEMNED sticker across the heater.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
After the technician left, Jon called me and apologized, but asked me what we wanted to do. Honestly? What were my options? You hear the stories on the news: the families who die from Carbon Monoxide poisoning. Unsafe levels of c02. What options do we even have?
I sent a quick email to Angela, who said she was going to lunch and would call me when she got back.
In the meantime, the house is getting colder and colder.
So here I am in my raspy sick person voice, telling Jon that I guess we don't have a choice. We need to replace our 20 year old heater. Of course I'm not feeling well, I'm stressed about all this money that we have to come up with. So, I'm crying on the phone, telling Jon that I guess we have to replace the furnace. I was just sobbing on the phone. Not exactly my finest moment.
SO, now I have two gentlemen in the basement working on tearing out the old furnace and getting ready to put in a new one.
Such are the joys of home ownership. I don't know how I will be able to afford all this, but I do know that there were no options.
So, I guess the way to look at this through the lens of divine intervention. Had Don not heard that noise, we could have all not woken up some morning.
SO, while we are not looking forward to paying for a new furnace and water heater, but realize that these are the joys of home ownership!
Never a dull day!

A Mother's Joy

2012-01-30T21:13:00.006-06:00

As I write this post, my youngest son Luke, is in a residential treatment facility in Chisago Lakes, MN.
We've been working on trying to get Luke help for his drug addiction for quite some time. It's been a slow progression on this downward trajectory for many years. Things got quite out of control over the past 10 months, where we realized that he needed more help than we could give him.

Those who know my story, know that I've had a very tumultuous relationship with Luke for the last 8 years. He has had the hardest time moving forward after the divorce, and has let much of his anger fester in his heart. Add this to anxiety and lots of opportunities to make his own decisions, and it was a recipe for disaster.

We had tried this whole rehab thing before in October, but it was not successful. Neither Jon nor Luke were quite ready for it, and things went back to the way they were before, only much worse. So, on Friday, January 20th, we drove Luke back down to Fairview Riverside's locked chemical dependency unit, and we admitted Luke for 5 days. During this time we had no contact with him. We really wanted him to dig deep within himself to see just how far he had fallen.
This seems like it was a good approach to take, and Luke is now at Chisago Lakes for 28 days. He will get out on February 22nd.

While we continue to be cautions, Luke seems to be taking this all very seriously. He is owning his addictions, realizing just how far he has fallen, and working hard to mend relationships that he has been destroying over the years. We see the hand of God all over this! One answer to prayer has been Luke's openness to me. He said that he realizes that he has shut me out and held on to resentment. He told me that he misses me and just wants to spend time with me, make up for all the time that was lost over the last many years. These are words I had begun to think I would never hear from this son. There is no doubt that the Lord is at work in Luke's heart!
Speaking of heart, the heart picture at the top is a craft that Luke made for me. The morning that we picked him up at the hospital to bring him to the rehab facility, he gave it to me. He had made it in the hospital. He told me that the multiple colors of pink and red were to signify the many layers and difficulties that our relationship has gone through. The blue bead in the middle represents Luke. He told me that he was in the middle of my heart.
"But it goes both ways Mom. That blue dot also represents you. You are in the middle of my heart too...forever!" Yes, there were tears.

Luke is working hard daily in the facility. He is committed to sobriety, and reclaiming his life. He greatly appreciates all your prayers, so please keep them coming!
God DOES answer prayers.

Everything I Know in Life I Learned from Friends

2012-01-13T22:18:00.000-06:00

Make Crafts

2012-01-10T21:25:00.004-06:00

I would like to spend more time making cool crafts.
Now that Ashley is here, living with us, I can see us making cool craft ideas.
I found a website that has a woman making 52 crafts in one year.
Does anybody else have a desire to make fun crafts?
Does anybody want to set aside one Saturday a month to work on some cool ideas?

A Few Words by Bob Lenz

2011-10-12T13:28:00.006-05:00

I just finished an assembly program with 400 junior high students in the state of New York. There are some days when I feel the pain of the kids that I speak to more than others. Today is one of those days. I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop hurting. It’s like I feel what they’re feeling, and I sense the hopeless of their questions, “Why not just die? Why not just end it all?”

In my assembly program I talked about bullying and showing respect. A boy that is in a special needs class came up to me afterwards and started sharing about how others call him retarded and make fun of him. He shared about a class that he said would probably be his favorite, but he hates going because he feels so bad about himself when people make fun of him and put him down.

Then a sharp-looking red-headed kid with freckles all over his face came up to me. I imagined that he should have had the bubbly joy of my daughter Joyel, but instead I saw pain in his eyes. The pain reminded me of a victim of war, which wasn’t far from reality for him. People ridiculed and laughed at him, calling him unspeakable names. While waiting at the bus stop, kids would throw rocks and make fun of him. He feels like he’s all alone. “What do I do,” he asked? “How do I deal with it when they call me these names?”

All I could wonder is, “Where are the followers of Jesus that will stand up for the least of these? Who is there to love, encourage, and tell him he’s been made in the image of God? Who is there to give him hope?”

Then a senior in high school came up to me. I was surprised to see a high school student among all these junior high kids. It turned out he was there because he was tutoring a photography class for 6th graders. His name was Josh. I’m not sure how to say this, but his attributes were a little more feminine. He began crying. “I didn’t expect to come to an assembly program today,” he said, “but it’s what I needed so bad.”

Tears streamed down his face as he began crying uncontrollably with snot coming from his nose. “I had a horrible weekend,” he continued. “Six of the jocks in school followed me to my car and called me names and kept saying I was gay, and they beat me up.” My heart sank as I watched his pain-filled face. “But the worst thing was when no one would even stop the junior high kid from spitting on me.”

No one. No one. No one deserves to be treated like this! May the people of faith be the ones that are leading the way to seek out opportunities to love, to understand, to invite, to care, to defend, and to stand for justice. Real righteousness is found when you care for the dignity of every person, even the person you disagree with.

The principal came up after witnessing those three kids talking with me. “I can’t believe the impact you just had on 400 kids, and you held their attention for 45 minutes,” he said. “They laughed and cried and absorbed every word you said. But to have them trust you so much to share these deep stories – that says a lot. This is a gift back to you, showing the difference you’re making. Thank you. This is exactly what our school needed.”

He continued to tell me there are three things the school is trying to teach students: respect for themselves, respect for others, and respect for property. “You hit every single one,” he said. “It’s like you designed this talk for our school, and we want to get you in every school possible.”

Honestly, it pains my heart that we have allowed some of the struggles that these kids are dealing with to become an issue to debate, instead of loving people. No matter what stance you feel you need to take on an issue, God has commanded us to love others. There are no disclaimers. God forbid that we allow some of the struggles that these kids are facing to become a political platform, a theological issue to be debated, or something that we want to protest and picket. Because in the mean time, kids are struggling with their value and worth as others who are fueled by self-righteousness treat them as sub-human. And we silently stand by.

God help us to stand up for the value of every person.

This is what we’re called to do – to bring hope to the kids who are ready to end it all, and to challenge people to treat each other with love and respect. We get to tell people they’re valuable no matter how people rip on them, beat on them, or put them down. Thank you for supporting this ministry, and those kids, through your prayers and support. Thank you for standing with us and being another voice that wants to not only proclaim the love of Jesus, but show it.

For the Kingdom,
Bob Lenz

A Bible-thumper's apology

2011-08-27T16:10:00.000-05:00

A Bible-thumper's apology

Natalie Grant - Your great name w/ lyrics

2011-08-07T12:39:00.000-05:00

Summer

2011-07-25T09:34:00.002-05:00

Oh how I love summer!
Today, my goal is to read, write and do some cleaning!
Maybe posting this will make me do it!
In other words, get off the stinking computer!

Osama Bin Laden is Dead!

2011-05-02T07:58:00.003-05:00

Last night we were informed that Navy Seals had killed Osama Bin Laden. While many cheer, I still realize this is a person, and cheering at his death might make us no better than the terrorists. On the other hand, I guess it's hard for me to truly wrap my mind around the war on terror.

Mostly what I want to know is this: What's Next?

Is the war over? Did we win? Will Al Qaeda disband?

My guess is NO!

No to all of them.

I would love to see this as a time when the United States unites. There has been SO MUCH dissension in our country. There have been embarrassing controversies over Obama's birth certificate. Right Wing vs. Liberal.

I am just as guilty at times.

Hoping this can bring us all together today!

A Father Gives Good Gifts

2011-03-25T08:49:00.004-05:00

For my quiet time, I am going through The One Year Book of Hope by Nancy Guthrie.

This was a devotional I really wanted to go through as I work to move past the heartbreaks in my life.

I have spent years begging and pleading to God about my kids. I have cried out to him to bring Luke back to me. I have yelled at God for Luke not being with me instead of Jon, as I am obviously the better parent. I have cursed God for his unwillingness to answer my prayers. I have prayed, and prayed and prayed. Relentlessly!!!

Today in my quiet time I read this:

"I recognize that as much as I might want God to give me what I ask for, I trust that my heavenly Father know what is best. Sometimes his "good gifts" don't appear that way to my limited perspective. He gives me broccoli when I want ice cream. Sometimes he uses frustrating circumstances, unwarranted criticism, or disappointing delays to develop in me the good gifts of patience and humility. He calls me to trust him, to know that he is my wise and loving Father, and my ultimate good is his heart's greatest desire.

Would you be willing to stop pounding on heaven's door, to stop begging for God to give you what you believe is best,and to open your hands to receive the good gifts your heavenly Father wants to give to you?"

WHOA!!

Am I willing to STOP POUNDING, TO STOP BEGGING FOR GOD TO GIVE ME WHAT I WANT??? Is he giving me broccoli when I am asking for ice cream?

Yes!

Yes Lord. I will stop begging. I will stop pounding...and rest on the promises that YOU HAVE GOOD GIFTS to give to me. I am ready to receive them!

SBC

2011-03-24T18:44:00.002-05:00

Throwing their heads back; mouths open
Trying to catch a breath
Common experiences
Uncommon backgrounds
Centered around a book
Which may or may not have been read
Tears shared openly
Sisterhood across the ages
Limitless friendships
Tied together forever
SBC

The Beauty of Facebook

2011-03-14T21:50:00.003-05:00

Those who know me well, know how much I LOVE the internet, and technology!
Through the beauty of Facebook, I have been able to connect with people that I would NEVER otherwise have contact with. Jodi Picoult and Chevy Stevens are two people in that category.
Tonight I spent several hours working on writing.
At one point, while I was off task, I sent Chevy an email asking for advice. Within a VERY short amount of time, I had a reply:

Kari Henderson Simonson
Hey Chevy...I'm currently working on my first writing project, a memoir. Every time I get on the computer to write....I write a few paragraphs, and then check faceback, email, etc. What do YOU do to stay focused? I need advice!

- Chevy Stevens Hi Kari. I set myself little goals, like I am allowed to check at a certain time, or after I finish so many pages or words. I try to get most of my emailing and blog/Facebook stuff done when I'm having my first cup of tea in the morning. Then I have a five page a day rule. I try really hard--unless it's an important email--to stay of the Internet until I've finished my pages. Then after that I can still work, editing or marketing, while allowing myself little breaks to play on Facebook etc. Good luck!
I feel quite blessed to have so much access to people, whose opinions I truly respect. For those of you who DON'T KNOW Chevy Stevens...check out her book Still Missing!

The Downfall of a Star

2011-03-08T20:13:00.001-06:00

Video streaming by Ustream

WINNING!!!

2011-03-03T19:22:00.004-06:00

Charlie Sheen is all over the place. His downfall is the topic of conversation for so many peoples. The man is literally imploding upon himself. I feel afraid for Charlie Sheen. I feel terrible for his children. I wonder what the "Goddesses" are thinking through this whole thing?
I pray that Charlie can survive this! I pray that he can come out the other side with more clarity and deeper understanding about who he is!

Linda Holmes on Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen on 20/20

Charlie Sheen Quotes

Charlie Sheen on Twitter

Charlie Sheen in Major League

Faith Healers

2011-03-01T16:36:00.003-06:00

I was watching Our America with Lisa Ling on OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network). The subject of the episode was on Faith Healers. It centered around the MorningStar Revivals in Ft. Mill S.Carolina with Todd Bentley. Todd Bentley says he is a normal guy who believes in the power of the Holy Spirit who was given the gift of healing. Some say Todd Bentley is a false prophet. It's up to us, the viewer, to determine what WE think.

Lisa Ling tells that she grew up with religion. She mentions that she grew up going to church and bible camp when she was a young girl. She does a pretty good job of keeping any bias out of what she is reporting. This may be why I like Lisa Ling.

The episode follows a few specific people. A man named Steve, who has suffered a severe brain injury. Steve was in a car crash at 18 and left with a brain injury and a speech impediment. Then in 1995, he fell off a roof and was paralyzed in his lower body. His legs are both paralyzed, and he has come to the MorningStar Revivals Conference to be healed by God through Todd Bentley. He is 100% convinced that he will be healed.

Another story about a mother and daughter. The daughter, Debbie, has brought her mother to be healed of terminal cancer. Her mother could no longer afford the treatments that were above and beyond what her Medicare paid for. She sees God as her only source at this point.

I watched the hour long story waiting, wondering how this story would end up. Would these people be healed? Would the average person watching this show be turned off to the power of God? The REAL truth behind the fact that PRAYER DOES WORK? The fact that FAITH can move mountains? God does heal....he does heal through others.....I believe it 100%! I also believe that God doesn't always heal. How can a man promise miracles?

When Steve gets up to Todd Bentley, after three days of waiting, I sense how much Steve's faith could heal him. Unfortunately, he is NOT healed. He has not given up his faith. He is still waiting on God. Waiting for his time.

What about Carol, the mother with terminal cancer, will she be healed? I am so expectant I want her to be healed. At the end we find out that Carol's cancer had steadily been getting worse.

Lisa could have taken the road of: these people are quacks, but she didn't. She said she learned something there. She learned that lives could be genuinely changed. That hope could transform, and that faith could empower!

What is YOUR take on faith healers? If you have seen Our America, what do you think of Lisa Ling?

What Makes You Angry?

2011-02-28T14:42:00.004-06:00

What Makes You Angry? This was the writing prompt that I used today with my high school students. I always write when my students are writing. As I wrote each hour, I added to what I had written before. I started out with big picture, governmental, societal issues that make me angry. Then, I moved to injustices that have happened to me, personally, which I never seem to get closure on. By the time I got to my last class of the day, my final writing was very eye opening to me. Don't get me wrong, not eye opening like I didn't know I DO this, but just eye opening about what a whiner I can be. It went like this:

Not getting my own way makes me angry. Truth is, deep down, I really like to get my own way. Let's face it, don't we all like to get our own way? I wonder if this is actually a true statement, aren't there some out there who truly like to give and give? Well, not me. I think to pout, either internally or externally (or both sometimes) when I don't get my own way leads me to rather passive aggressive behavior....childish, ridiculous behavior. Performances not quite fitting to a 44 year old. I pout, pull away, pretend. Why? I truly only hurt myself in this process. To top it off, I am not very good at holding grudges, so then it just turns into short term pouting. Even less effective!
So, there is my confessional...a full day's worth of pondering things that make me angry.
So, I pose the same question to you: What Makes You Angry?

Church On Saturday Night! AMAZING!!

2011-02-15T16:44:00.000-06:00

Acts – Chapter 17A from Hosanna! Church Lakeville MN on Vimeo.

HUNGER GAMES: KATNISS & RUE

2011-02-14T08:35:00.000-06:00

Probably Still Nick Swansen Look

2011-02-12T11:10:00.003-06:00

Nick Swansen pretty much knows what it means to be Special Ed.: You can't drive, even if you're sixteen and your parents have two cars; the regular kids in school don't talk to you much; and even if you can memorize every fact about amphibians, it's hard to make sense of all the other stuff swirling in your mind. What he doesn't know is whether being Special Ed. means you shouldn't go to the prom. But since no rule says you can't, Nick decides to ask Shana.

But the prom doesn't turn out at all the way Nick expects it to, and everything bad seems to get all mixed up together: the prom, what Shana does, and the terrible thing that happened to Nick's sister nine years ago. Nick doesn't want to think about any of it, but he begins to realize that unless he makes peace with all the memories that trouble him, they will haunt him forever....

Psalm 34:18

2011-02-09T07:20:00.004-06:00

Today in my quiet time, I read Psalm 34:18. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.
Yesterday I had a particularly difficult day, on the back of a difficult few weeks. My daughter has decided to live full time with her dad, again. My youngest son is making some decisions that are poor, and I feel his dad should be steering him more closely. When I sit back and reflect on how much my hands are tied, and how I have no control over the situation, I feel crazy. These children who I love so much, are in some ways lost to me right now. As a mom, it's the most frightening thing to just sit and watch. I also end up feeling so sad, lost and alone. I berate myself that I should have been more...tried harder. Some days I just want to move away. Move far away where I am not so close to the pain. Some place where distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Yesterday was a difficult day. I was feeling depressed and alone. Out of the blue I got an text message from my oldest son telling me that I am a good mom, and that he always felt loved by me, and that he loves me so much! OUT OF THE BLUE???? I think not. It was FOR SURE God's voice. I have no doubt that God was saying: Look Kari!! All is not lost. Don't forget about your oldest child!! All is not lost!!
Today the verse from Psalm telling me that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. He was close to me last night, in the midst of my despair. I am so certain of this!!

Proverbs 27

2011-01-25T21:35:00.001-06:00

"Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart." Proverbs 27:18

This Is Why We Cannot Root for the Steelers

2011-01-23T20:26:00.000-06:00

Football Super Bowl Winners

	Year	Winner	Opponent	Score	Location
XLIV	2010	New Orleans Saints	Indiana Colts	31-17	Miami, FL
XLIII	2009	Pittsburgh Steelers	Arizona Cardinals	27-23	Tampa, FL
XLII	2008	New York Giants	New England Patriots	17-14	Glendale, AZ
XLI	2007	Indianapolis Colts	Chicago Bears	29-17	Miami, FL
XL	2006	Pittsburgh Steelers	Seattle Seahawks	21-10	Detroit, MI
XXXIX	2005	New England Patriots	Philadelphia Eagles	24-21	Jacksonville, FL
XXXVIII	2004	New England Patriots	Carolina Panthers	32-29	Houston, TX
XXXVII	2003	Tampa Bay Buccaneers	Oakland Raiders	48-21	San Diego, CA
XXXVI	2002	New England Patriots	St. Louis Rams	20-17	New Orleans, LA
XXXV	2001	Baltimore Ravens	New York Giants	34-7	Tampa, FL
XXXIV	2000	St. Louis Rams	Tennessee Titans	23-16	Atlanta, GA
XXXIII	1999	Denver Broncos	Atlanta Falcons	34-19	Miami, FL
XXXII	1998	Denver Broncos	Green Bay Packers	31-24	San Diego, CA
XXXI	1997	Green Bay Packers	New England Patriots	35-21	New Orleans, LA
XXX	1996	Dallas Cowboys	Pittsburgh Steelers	27-17	Tempe, AZ
XXIX	1995	San Francisco 49ers	San Diego Chargers	49-26	Miami, FL
XXVIII	1994	Dallas Cowboys	Buffalo Bills	30-13	Atlanta, GA
XXVII	1993	Dallas Cowboys	Buffalo Bills	52-17	Pasadena, CA
XXVI	1992	Washington Redskins	Buffalo Bills	37-24	Minneapolis, MN
XXV	1991	New York Giants	Buffalo Bills	20-19	Tampa, FL
XXIV	1990	San Francisco 49ers	Denver Broncos	55-10	New Orleans, LA
XXIII	1989	San Francisco 49ers	Cincinnati Bengals	20-16	Miami, FL
XXII	1988	Washington Redskins	Denver Broncos	42-10	San Diego, CA
XXI	1987	New York Giants	Denver Broncos	39-20	Pasadena, CA
XX	1986	Chicago Bears	New England Patriots	46-10	New Orleans, LA
XIX	1985	San Francisco 49ers	Miami Dolphins	38-16	Stanford, CA
XVIII	1984	LA Raiders	Washington Redskins	38-9	Tampa, FL
XVII	1983	Washington Redskins	Miami Dolphins	27-17	Pasadena, CA
XVI	1982	San Francisco 49ers	Cincinnati Bengals	26-21	Pontiac, MI
XV	1981	Oakland Raiders	Philadelphia Eagles	27-10	New Orleans, LA
XIV	1980	Pittsburgh Steelers	Los Angeles Rams	31-19	Pasadena, CA
XIII	1979	Pittsburgh Steelers	Dallas Cowboys	35-31	Miami, FL
XII	1978	Dallas Cowboys	Denver Broncos	27-10	New Orleans, LA
XI	1977	Oakland Raiders	Minnesota Vikings	32-14	Pasadena, CA
X	1976	Pittsburgh Steelers	Dallas Cowboys	21-17	Miami, FL
IX	1975	Pittsburgh Steelers	Minnesota Vikings	16-6	New Orleans, LA
VIII	1974	Miami Dolphins	Minnesota Vikings	24-7	Houston, TX
VII	1973	Miami Dolphins	Washington Redskins	14-7	Los Angeles, CA
VI	1972	Dallas Cowboys	Miami Dolphins	24-3	New Orleans, LA
V	1971	Baltimore Colts	Dallas Cowboys	16-13	Miami, FL
IV	1970	Kansas City Chiefs	Minnesota Vikings	23-7	New Orleans, LA
III	1969	New York Jets	Baltimore Colts	16-7	Miami, FL
II	1968	Green Bay Packers	Oakland Raiders	33-14	Miami, FL
I	1967	Green Bay Packers	Kansas City Chiefs	35-10	Los Angeles, CA

Old Friends

2011-01-22T10:58:00.003-06:00

Through the beauty of facebook, we all have been able to connect with old friends from our past. What I am really enjoying right now, is the connecting to old friends who I might not have even been that good of friends with. What I am finding out now is that some of these folks are people I would REALLY like to spend time with and get to know better.
I have an old neighbor who I rode the school bus with every day to school, had a crush on her older brother, but didn't really spend a lot of time with her. As an adult, I find her witty, clever and quite smart. I'm actually working on getting together with her...hopefully sometime in the near future.
I also have a couple of Hillcrest friends who I was friends with, but not close friends. I find myself drawn to how they write.
All three of these women are Wonder Women to me. The way they juggle everything in their lives. I am excited when they publish a blog post, or when they post something thought provoking on facebook. Often times they provide me with a chuckle that I need at that exact moment.
What I am mostly contemplating now is how life changes people. People I may not have been good friends with in high school, for many reasons, are now people I am drawn to by the way they express themselves on a computer. They make me want to get to know them better.
This cyber-world, while not new, is a wonderful way for people to express themselves, myself included. We all have a need to feel heard.
These three women especially, I am indebted to their online friendships. While it may seem lame to some, I find them powerful!

OH HOW I LOVE BOOK LISTS

2011-01-07T13:16:00.002-06:00

Here are the winners of our second annual Goodreads Choice Awards. More than 157,000 votes were cast for 460 nominees and thousands of write-in candidates. View the full results!

Favorite Book of 2010: Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
With a decisive 20% of the vote, the third installment of the popular Hunger Games series is our big winner this year (it also won Young Adult Fantasy, Favorite Hero, and Favorite Heroine). Mockingjay is the most-read book on Goodreads in 2010—earning more than 53,000 ratings in the four months since its publication. Thousands more have it on their to-read lists. Runners-up were The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson and Spirit Bound by Richelle Mead.

Fiction: Room by Emma Donoghue (Goodreads Author)
Donoghue may not have won the prestigious Man Booker Award (she was shortlisted), but her book about a mother and son in captivity is a reader favorite. Runners-up include Jodi Picoult's House Rules, Sarah Addison Allen's The Girl Who Chased the Moon, and W. Bruce Cameron's A Dog's Purpose. Critical darling Jonathan Franzen came in fifth with Freedom.

Mystery & Thriller: The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson
The Swedish thriller with a U.S. 2010 release garnered a whopping 37.8% of the vote, a huge lead over runners-up Still Missing by Chevy Stevens and Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich.

Fantasy: Towers of Midnight by Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson (Goodreads Author)
This category was decided by a whisper-thin margin of only 0.5% of the vote. Paul Hoffman's The Left Hand of God just missed the top spot, and China Mieville's Kraken came in third. Sanderson also provided his own competition: His other 2010 publication, The Way of Kings, came in fifth.

Paranormal Fantasy: Dead in the Family by Charlaine Harris
Vampires and wily heroines abound in this category. Harris's latest installment of the Sookie Stackhouse series took the top honor, followed by Silver Borne by Patricia Briggs and Magic Bleeds by Ilona Andrews.

Science Fiction: Feed by Mira Grant
Grant's near-future zombie thriller beat out Connie Willis's Blackout and Cherie Priest's Dreadnought.

Romance: Lover Mine by J.R. Ward
Reflecting their recent popularity, paranormal romances took both first and third place: Ward's latest Black Dagger Brotherhood book and Jeaniene Frost's First Drop of Crimson. Nicholas Sparks's contemporary romance, Safe Haven, placed second.

Historical Fiction: Fall of Giants by Ken Follett
Follet's World War I epic took first place, closely followed by Anne Fortier's Shakespeare-inspired Juliet. The Lost Summer of Louisa May Alcott by Kelly O. McNees took third.

Graphic Novels & Comics: Twilight: The Graphic Novel by Stephenie Meyer & Young Kim
Although Meyer's adaptation came in first, the Cinderella story in this category is Felicia Day's The Guild. Her debut graphic novel came in seventh, the highest finish for any write-in candidate in the 2010 Goodreads Choice Awards. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Retreat placed second, and Maximum Ride: The Manga third.

Poetry: Come on All You Ghosts by Matthew Zapruder
American poet Zapruder takes the top honor, followed by If There Is Something to Desire (translated from the Russian) by Vera Pavlova and Newspaper Blackout by visual artist Austin Kleon.

Nonfiction: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot (Goodreads Author)
Skloot's book about the HeLa immortal cell line is one of the year's best-reviewed books on Goodreads with an average rating of 4.16. The Lost Dogs by Jim Gorant came in second, and Medium Raw by Anthony Bourdain came in third.

History & Biography: The Tudors by G.J. Meyer
Voters favored Meyer's in-depth look at the English monarchy over Bill Bryson's At Home and Laura Hillenbrand's Unbroken.

Memoir & Autobiography: Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi
The television actress's candid account of her struggle with anorexia beat out memoirs from comedienne Carol Burnett and former First Lady Laura Bush.

Humor: Bite Me by Christopher Moore
Moore's zany story of evil vampire cats in San Francisco took first place, followed by Sh*t My Dad Says by Twitter comic Justin Halpern and Earth (the book) by Daily Show host Jon Stewart.

Young Adult Fiction: Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver (Goodreads Author)
Only a few hundred votes separated Before I Fall from Only the Good Spy Young by Ally Carter, and Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan.

Young Adult Fantasy: Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Collins's dystopian juggernaut was followed by Richelle Mead's Last Sacrifice, the conclusion to her Vampire Academy series, and Cassandra Clare's Clockwork Angel, the beginning of her new Infernal Devices series.

Middle Grade & Children's: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth by Jeff Kinney
Kinney's popular middle-grade series won in a landslide, followed by Lord Sunday and The Viper's Nest.

Picture Books: It's a Book by Lane Smith
Smith's comedic picture book pits a book-loving monkey against his high-tech mouse and jackass friends. Mo Willem's Knuffle Bunny Free came in second, and Neil Gaiman's Instructions third.

Debut Author: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
Nonfiction winner Skloot is followed by Humor runner-up Justin Halpern (Sh*t My Dad Says) and young adult fantasy writer Alexandra Bracken (Brightly Woven).

Goodreads Author: Spirit Bound by Richelle Mead (Goodreads Author)
This special category honors Goodreads Authors, published authors who have joined the site to connect with their fans. Runners-up were Cassandra Clare (Clockwork Angel) and Emma Donoghue (Room).

Favorite Heroine: Katniss Everdeen in Mockingjay
Gutsy teen gladiator Katniss earned 26.8% of the vote, more than vampire guardian Rose Hathaway (Spirit Bound and Last Sacrifice) and computer hacker Lisbeth Salander (The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest).

Favorite Hero: Peeta Mellark in Mockingjay
Katniss, Peeta, and Gale Hawthorne form the love triangle at the heart of The Hunger Games series. However, Peeta dominated this category, beating third-place finisher Gale by 18.2%. Eric Northman, Sookie Stackhouse's vampire paramour in Dead in the Family, took second.

Cover Art: Torment by Lauren Kate (Goodreads Author)
Three young-adult titles won the top spots in this category: Kate's angel fantasy, followed by Brenna Yovanoff's The Replacement and Jackson Pearce's Sisters Red.

Joy

2011-01-06T21:34:00.004-06:00

So far this week has been a week of joy for me.
Work has been great. It was fun to get back to my students, and to connect with them again.
I've been to the gym the appropriate number of times, and really worked hard.
My car broke down, and I decided to purchase a new truck.
I've been able to stick to my guns with the "moving past the heartbreak plan" as well. The Lord is giving me strength to go through each day.
Our kids have been around, and we've had evening meals around the table filled with laughter and love.
The week has gone by quickly, and I am so excited that it's FRIDAY!!

On the other hand, my dear friend and workout partner, Fiona, is going through a very personal crisis. Her mother was taken to the hospital on Wednesday by ambulance, and things have been declining ever since. As a friend, I so want to be there for her. I want to help and be supportive. I know there is no joy for her right now.

I am struck by how life goes on. I remember when Seth was diagnosed with cancer, and I felt like my life was falling apart. Yet, all around me, people were going on with their life. People were experiencing joys and were laughing. Yet, there I was, just discovering that my baby had a potentially life-threatening disease.

SO, while my week has been filled with joy, I am also very much aware that those around me may be hurting and suffering. If you are one of those people, my heart goes out to you. My hope is that the joy will come back around to you.

Best Books

2011-01-04T12:00:00.000-06:00

Readers' Choice: Best Books of 2010
Web exclusiveFeature by Editors of BookPage

In November we asked readers to tell us their favorite book of 2010. More than 2,600 readers responded, and the results span genres from literary thriller to YA phenomenon to historical epic. Several of these books overlap with our own Best of 2010 picks. The results are in order of votes.

1. The Passage by Justin Cronin
2. Room by Emma Donoghue
3. Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman
4. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson
5. Fall of Giants by Ken Follett
6. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
7. Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
8. Major Pettigrew's Last Stand by Helen Simonson
9. The Invisible Bridge by Julie Orringer
10. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
11. Bury Your Dead by Louise Penny
12. Still Missing by Chevy Stevens
13. Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah
14. 61 Hours by Lee Child
15. A Dog's Purpose by W. Bruce Cameron
16. Ape House by Sara Gruen
17. Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter by Tom Franklin
18. House Rules by Jodi Picoult
19. Faithful Place by Tana French
20. Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King

Note: Although our Readers' Choice "Best of 2010" picks were limited to books published in 2010, several older books received a significant number of votes. The Help by Kathryn Stockett, Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese and Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay remain especially popular with BookPage readers.

My Three Words

2011-01-02T10:50:00.007-06:00

An old friend from Hillcrest, Bonny Korsmo Clark , recently wrote a blog post referencing the three words that she would like to define her 2011. Her last words were: Do you have three words for the new year? This got me to thinking. Bonny was like a good Lutheran preacher and came up with three words that all started with the same letter. Alliteration at it's finest!
I, however, will not be quite as clever as that. But, I can think of three words that I would like to own for 2011.

1. Content: Something I struggle with far too often. Accepting what I am unable to change. Being OK with how things are. Beyond just accepting, however, is also the idea of just being able to look around and be content with all the blessings that I have. Through contentment, I can let others know by my words and actions how they have benefited my life.

2. Ambitious: I too often get sucked into the computer and/or the television. I love my DVR too much, as well as Netflix. It's ridiculous. I could come home from every day and sit on my couch until bed time with my computer on my lap. I would like ambitious to be a word that I strive for this next year. Ambition to read more, spend more time in the Bible, take time to continue writing my memoir, go outside (yes, even in this horrible cold weather) and take more pictures, take my puppy for a walk. Go to the gym more.

3. Attentive: I want to be a more attentive partner. More engaged in my life. I would like to pay careful attention to the details of how things are going down each day. I want to show the worth of a person by giving my full concentration.

Hopefully I can achieve these three words!! I am definitely going to work at them!

Reflection

2010-12-31T12:47:00.003-06:00

As I sit pondering what 2011 will hold, I can't help but look back at 2010.
It was an amazing year!
Chloe and Ryan graduated from high school. Luke and Isaiah got drivers licenses. Seth and Ashley got married. Huge family milestones. Sources of great joy and celebrations.

A year of heartbreak as well. Children leaving for college, leaving a large hole in our family. Chloe dropping out of college, but having no clue where she wants to go next. Seth and Ashley still living in Georgia, and an economy that doesn't make moving home feasible. Luke pulling further and further away, leaving me with next to no relationship with my baby.

Without my relationship with Jesus, I could not face each new day. Jesus IS my portion!! He fills in all the places of my heart which are empty and cracked. He soothes the ache, and helps me find my joy. In him I am complete.

What will 2011 hold?
A beautiful relationship that sharpens me, makes me a better person, and fills me with love and joy. Friendships that stretch me, make me think, make me laugh and make me cry. Parenting a 19 year old to realize her full potential, and applying tough love to assist her growth. Spending more time with my parents, and hopefully my brother. Desperately wanting these relationships to grow as I become more and more aware of how important they are. Learning to let go of my baby, and let God control the situation with Luke. Trusting that he can change the situation. Daily relying on Christ for the strength to do anything.

Yes, 2010 was a wonderful, and painful year. Maybe that's the way they always are. Without the pain, it's harder to appreciate the joy; the truly amazing miracle that life is.

May your 2011 be a year of firsts, lasts, and laughter that makes you pee a little!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-25T10:31:00.013-06:00

A beautiful Christmas morning. Wonderful waking up in a house full of love. Kids who still love to discover their stockings.

A dog who can EASILY find her stocking.

Even with all this joy....it's still hard to forget that both of my boys were not with us for Christmas. Seth is far away in Georgia. Luke, well, Luke was in Apple Valley and just didn't want to come. It's hard to believe, but that was the choice he made. While my heart if full of joy and love, it is also heartbroken over distance and a broken relationship. My hope is that if you have broken relationships in your life, that you let your love shine through. Put the hurt behind you and FORGIVE as you have been forgiven.
Mitch Albom says it best:

"Holding anger is a poison...It eats you from inside...We think that by hating someone we hurt them...But hatred is a curved blade...and the harm we do to others...we also do to ourselves."
— Mitch Albom (The Five People You Meet in Heaven

My hope for you is a BLESSED CHRISTMAS filled with LOVE!

Vikings Outside at TCF Stadium

2010-12-20T22:57:00.003-06:00

Seth flew home this weekend to be part of history. He wanted to be there for a home Vikings game played outside.
Even though we lost...BIG TIME! (40-14), Seth had a great time.

Favre played his last game at home tonight as well.

Smell Like A Monster Sesame Street Spoofs The Old Spice Guy

2010-12-13T13:41:00.000-06:00

Old Spice | The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

2010-12-13T13:39:00.000-06:00

The D Word by Nora Ephron

2010-12-12T08:33:00.000-06:00

Excerpted from I REMEMBER NOTHING: And Other Reflections by Nora Ephron Copyright © 2010 by Nora Ephron. Excerpted by permission of Knopf, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

The most important thing about me, for quite a long chunk of my life, was that I was divorced. Even after I was no longer divorced but remarried, this was true. I have now been married to my third husband for more than twenty years. But when you've had children with someone you're divorced from, divorce defines everything; it's the lurking fact, a slice of anger in the pie of your brain.

Of course, there are good divorces, where everything is civil, even friendly. Child support payments arrive. Visitations take place on schedule. Your ex-husband rings the doorbell and stays on the other side of the threshold; he never walks in without knocking and helps himself to the coffee. In my next life I must get one of those divorces.

One good thing I'd like to say about divorce is that it sometimes makes it possible for you to be a much better wife to your next husband because you have a place for your anger; it's not directed at the person you're currently with.

Another good thing about divorce is that it makes clear something that marriage obscures, which is that you're on your own. There's no power struggle over which of you is going to get up in the middle of the night; you are.

But I can't think of anything good about divorce as far as the children are concerned. You can't kid yourself about that, although many people do. They say things like, "It's better for children not to grow up with their parents in an unhappy marriage." But unless the parents are beating each other up, or abusing the children, kids are better off if their parents are together. Children are much too young to shuttle between houses. They're too young to handle the idea that the two people they love most in the world don't love each other anymore, if they ever did. They're too young to understand that all the wishful thinking in the world won't bring their parents back together. And the newfangled rigmarole of joint custody doesn't do anything to ease the cold reality: in order to see one parent, the divorced child must walk out on the other.

The best divorce is the kind where there are no children. That was my first divorce. You walk out the door and you never look back. There were cats, cats I was wildly attached to; my husband and I spoke in cat voices. Once the marriage was over, I never thought of the cats again (until I wrote about them in a novel and disguised them as hamsters).

A few months before my first husband and I broke up, I had a magazine assignment to write about the actors Rod Steiger and Claire Bloom and their fabulous marriage. I went to see them at their Fifth Avenue apartment, and they insisted on being interviewed separately. This should have been some sort of clue. But I was clueless. In fact, looking back, it seems to me that I was clueless until I was about fifty years old. Anyway, I interviewed the two of them in separate rooms. They seemed very happy. I wrote the piece, I turned it in, the magazine accepted it, they sent me a check, I cashed the check, and a day later, Rod Steiger and Claire Bloom announced they were getting a divorce. I couldn't believe it. Why hadn't they told me? Why had they gone forward with a magazine piece about their marriage when they were getting a divorce?

But then my own marriage ended, and about a week later a photographer turned up at my former apartment to take a picture of my husband and me for an article about our kitchen. I wasn't there, of course. I'd moved out. What's more, I'd forgotten the appointment. The reporter involved with the article was livid that I hadn't remembered, hadn't called, hadn't told her, and was no doubt angry that I'd agreed to do the interview about my marital kitchen when I had to have known I was getting a divorce. But the truth is you don't always know you're getting a divorce. For years, you're married. Then, one day, the concept of divorce enters your head. It sits there for a while. You lean toward it and then you lean away. You make lists. You calculate how much it will cost. You tote up grievances, and pluses and minuses. You have an affair. You start seeing a shrink. The two of you start seeing a shrink. And then you end the marriage, not because anything in particular happened that was worse than what had happened the day before, but simply because you suddenly have a place to stay while you look for an apartment, or $3,000 your father has unexpectedly given you.

I don't mean to leave out the context. My first marriage ended in the early 1970s, at the height of the women's movement. Jules Feiffer used to draw cartoons of young women dancing wildly around looking for themselves, and that's what we were all like. We took things way too seriously. We drew up contracts that were meant to divide the household tasks in a more equitable fashion. We joined consciousness-raising groups and sat in a circle and pretended we weren't jealous of one another. We read tracts that said the personal is political. And by the way, the personal is political, although not as much as we wanted to believe it was.

But the main problem with our marriages was not that our husbands wouldn't share the housework but that we were unbelievably irritable young women and our husbands irritated us unbelievably.

A thing I remember from my consciousness-raising group is that one of the women in it burst into tears one day because her husband had given her a frying pan for her birthday.

She, somehow, never got a divorce.

But the rest of us did.

We'd grown up in an era when no one was divorced, and suddenly everyone was divorced.

My second divorce was the worst kind of divorce. There were two children; one had just been born. My husband was in love with someone else. I found out about him and his affair when I was still pregnant. I had gone to New York for the day and had had a meeting with a writer-producer named Jay Presson Allen. I was about to go to LaGuardia to take the Eastern shuttle back to Washington when she handed me a script she happened to have lying around, by an English writer named Frederic Raphael. "Read this," she said. "You'll like it."

I opened it on the plane. It began with a married couple at a dinner party. I can't remember their names, but for the sake of the story, let's call them Clive and Lavinia. It was a very sophisticated dinner party and everyone at it was smart and brittle and chattering brilliantly. Clive and Lavinia were particularly clever, and they bantered with each other in a charming, flirtatious way. Everyone in the room admired them, and their marriage. The guests sat down to dinner and the patter continued. In the middle of the dinner, a man seated next to Lavinia put his hand on her leg. She put her cigarette out on his hand. The glittering conversation continued. When the dinner ended, Clive and Lavinia got into their car to drive home. The talk ceased, and they drove in absolute silence. They had nothing to say to each other. And then Lavinia said: "All right. Who is she?"

That was on page 8 of the screenplay.

I closed the script. I couldn't breathe. I knew at that moment that my husband was having an affair. I sat there, stunned, for the rest of the flight. The plane landed, and I went home and straight to his office in our apartment. There was a locked drawer. Of course. I knew there would be. I found the key. I opened the drawer and there was the evidence -- a book of children's stories she'd given him, with an incredibly stupid inscription about their enduring love. I wrote about all this in a novel called Heartburn, and it's a very funny book, but it wasn't funny at the time. I was insane with grief. My heart was broken. I was terrified about what was going to happen to my children and me. I felt gaslighted, and idiotic, and completely mortified. I wondered if I was going to become one of those divorced women who's forced to move with her children to Connecticut and is never heard from again.

I walked out dramatically, and I came back after promises were made. My husband entered into the usual cycle for this sort of thing -- lies, lies, and more lies. I myself entered into surveillance, steaming open American Express bills, swearing friends to secrecy, finding out that the friends I'd sworn to secrecy couldn't keep a secret, and so forth. There was a mysterious receipt from James Robinson Antiques. I called James Robinson and pretended to be my husband's assistant and claimed I needed to know exactly what the receipt was for so that I could insure it. The receipt turned out to be for an antique porcelain box that said "I Love You Truly" on it. It was presumably not unlike the antique porcelain box my husband had bought for me a couple of years earlier that said "Forever and Ever." I mention all this so you will understand that this is part of the process: once you find out he's cheated on you, you have to keep finding it out, over and over and over again, until you've degraded yourself so completely that there's nothing left to do but walk out.

When my second marriage ended, I was angry and hurt and shocked.

Now I think, Of course.

I think, Who can possibly be faithful when they're young?

I think, Stuff happens.

I think, People are careless and there are almost never any consequences (except for the children, which I already said).

And I survived. My religion is Get Over It. I turned it into a rollicking story. I wrote a novel. I bought a house with the money from the novel.

People always say that once it goes away, you forget the pain. It's a cliché of childbirth: you forget the pain. I don't happen to agree. I remember the pain. What you really forget is love.

Divorce seems as if it will last forever, and then suddenly, one day, your children grow up, move out, and make lives for themselves, and except for an occasional flare, you have no contact at all with your ex-husband. The divorce has lasted way longer than the marriage, but finally it's over.

Enough about that.

The point is that for a long time, the fact that I was divorced was the most important thing about me.

And now it's not.

Now the most important thing about me is that I'm old.

Luke

2010-11-09T21:48:00.002-06:00

Even though the photos may be gross....look at what my sonny boy got? Proud of you Luke!
Nice Job!!

President Obama: It Gets Better

2010-10-25T14:34:00.000-05:00

Proud to be an American!

Chloe's 19th Birthday

2010-10-23T10:13:00.002-05:00

I am so incredibly proud of the young woman you are. From you I have learned patience, I have experienced the bond of having a daughter, and I have evolved. I am a better person for having you in my life.

I will miss spending this day with you.

Happy 19th birthday Chloe!!

2010-10-15T21:07:00.000-05:00

2010-10-12T16:37:00.002-05:00

I know it shouldn't matter.....
but my youngest son, Luke, just unfriended me AGAIN on facebook.
Only this time...he completely blocked me.
You're darn right I call him on the stuff he writes.
You're absolutely right that I talk to him often about what he has posted.
And now....I am blocked.
I had so little access to my own child as it is....and now this.
I KNOW it shouldn't matter.....

More Like Falling in Love - Jason Gray

2010-10-08T22:37:00.000-05:00

Give me rules
I will break them
Give me lines
I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It ought to be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

Give me words
I'll misuse them
Obligations
I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be

CHORUS

...It's like I'm falling in love, love, love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made
Me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me

An Old Tale

2010-10-08T10:28:00.000-05:00

As the Story Goes – There was a Young Boy, An Old Man, and A Donkey all Traveling on a Long Journey Together.

As they came upon a little town – the Young Boy and the Old man, had walked a long way – Giving their Faithful Donkey a Rest – They decided both would ride the donkey through town to rest their weary legs. As people watched they began to whisper, how could both of them ride that poor donkey, what cruelty to an animal.

Not long after the first town they came upon a second little town – the young boy said to the old man – You stay on the donkey and rest a bit more – While I lead you through town. Once again people started to whisper, how terrible it was – that the old man was making the young boy walk – when he looked so tired and his shoes so worn out.

They journeyed farther, as they came to a third little town, the old man said to the young boy, you have been so kind to give me rest – now it is your turn to ride the donkey – as I lead you through town. Once again, people began to whisper – What an awful, rude, lazy young boy to make the old man walk.

The Moral

Until you have walked a mile in my shoes –
You can’t judge me.

Luke's First Day of School

2010-10-04T20:53:00.003-05:00

Hard to believe that my baby drove his car to school on his first day of school. I meant to blog on his first day. I ended up having to take a photo with my cell phone camera. Luke is the last one left to get the picture taken on the first day of school with his backpack on! Sad in a way!
So, here he is on his first day of 10th grade!
I love you Luke!

My New Camera

2010-10-02T20:16:00.005-05:00

*I enjoyed an amazing morning with my friend Maria at The Arboretum in Chanhassen.
She helped me begin to navigate my way through my camera. It was such a gorgeous day. These days are what the fall is all about!
God is so there in the beauty of the seasons!! It was just amazing to see all the unbelievable colors.

Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time

2010-09-28T20:03:00.000-05:00

\

I am watching Glee right now...the one with Britney Spears on it.
Gotta LOVE Britney!

A letter to Oprah!

2010-09-28T12:01:00.003-05:00

Oprah's show on education.
Did you see it?
It's hard to know....isn't it?

Check out this link!

Voices of the homeless featured in Mpls. photography show | Minnesota Public Radio NewsQ

2010-09-24T07:48:00.001-05:00

This looks so interesting to me!

Voices of the homeless featured in Mpls. photography show Minnesota Public Radio NewsQ

Funny License Plate

2010-09-17T13:07:00.004-05:00

September 11th

2010-09-11T22:47:00.006-05:00

9 years later, our world is no less confusing!
However, today, I am just as aware that God has it all under control! Nothing will happen that isn't completely in his clutch.

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Peace....it's what we crave!! Peace is what HE brings!!

Transitions

2010-08-15T07:45:00.006-05:00

I cannot believe how long it's been since I blogged.
Chloe and Ryan graduated from Lakeville South on June 11th.
Seth and Ashley were married on July 25th.
Ryan left for college on Saturday. He is officially in his dorm room, and trying out for a spot on the drum line at NDSU.
Chloe leaves for college on Wednesday.
What an amazing time of transitions.
To top that off....Luke turns 16 on Tuesday, and is hopefully going to get his license.
It's all just so hard to believe how time flies by!

Wimbledon and the 4th of July

2010-07-04T10:16:00.003-05:00

Watching Nadal and Derdych play the finals at Wimbledon this morning. Nadal is probably going to win.
It's also the 4th of July.
Time of the annual Erickson Family Party at our house.
The rain has come...and gone for right now.
Time to get the house ready, the pool vacuumed, the food prepared.

Seth and Ashley get married in 3 weeks from TODAY!

OPEN

2010-06-29T21:15:00.002-05:00

I am reading OPEN by Andre Agassi. It's such a fantastic book!!! I would highly recommend this book to anybody! Andre has a way with words. SO GOOD!

Saturday Night

2010-05-08T21:55:00.002-05:00

On the eve of Mother's Day I just want to state that I love my children more than anything!! They are the absolute light of my life. I wish they lived with me, and I wish that they thought more of me....but truly, I love them unconditionally! I always wanted to be a mom...I just didn't know it would be like this. BUT...I am a mom...and I will take it however it is. My children are amazing!!!
I love you Seth, Chloe and Luke! More than you could understand!!!!!

Jesse Takes The High Road

2010-04-28T12:22:00.002-05:00

"My whole life has been full of hard decisions. "
"The decision to let my wife end our marriage, and continue the adoption of Louis on her own, has been the hardest. The love I have for Louis cannot be put to words. Not having him around to love and to hold has left a huge hole in my heart."
"Sandy is the love of my life, but considering the pain and devastation I have caused her, it would be selfish to not let her go. Right now it is time for me to beat this addiction that has taken two of the things I love the most in life."
I have always taken great pride in proving people wrong. That time has come once again to show that I am not what everyone says I am. I know in my heart that I can be the best father possible to my four children, and the mate Sandy deserves, and realize that this is an incredible mountain to climb. But I believe that the steps I have taken in the last 30 days are the foundation for making this happen. The lifelong commitment I am making is what being a real husband and father is all about. "
"I ask that you please do not judge Sandy for the things I have done. She has done no wrong. She played no part in any of this. She has been an amazing wife, mother, and best friend, for the over 6 years we have been together."

Quiet Time Today

2010-04-21T12:02:00.004-05:00

Today, during my quiet time, I was thanking God for being my reason. While I was praying, it occurred to me that I really need to LIVE like HE is my reason.
I hate that so often my relationship with Jesus is just lip service.
I just read it today: Matthew 15:8 Jesus says:
These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.
Nobody WANTS to be like this....but when I take my eyes off of Jesus, even for a little bit, I lose sight of WHAT I AM DOING!! I FORGET WHAT I AM HERE FOR!
I FORGET THE ONLY REASON I WAS PLACED ON THIS EARTH: TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT HIM!! TO LOVE MY NEIGHBOR AS MYSELF!
After 43 years...you would think I could start to get it right! If not for His AMAZING GRACE.....

SO...
Today I want to live like I KNOW HE is my reason!!!
Somebody...hold me accountable to this!!

Manifesting What is Before Us

2010-04-14T12:13:00.003-05:00

I am reading a charming book called The Art of Racing in the Rain. It is a sweet account of the dog's life as he looks back on how rich his life has been. I might be reading it, in part, because we have just put down our old, sweet Sam!
When something hits me, I love to write it down. The dog, Enzo, has just said something profound:
That which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny. Be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves.
I alone, can manifest a change in that which is around me. While I cannot say that I am a master of my own destiny, I can say that I have experienced a glimpse of mastery, and I know what I have to work toward.

A Day to Say Goodbye To Sam!

2010-03-31T22:52:00.002-05:00

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

SAM WE WILL MISS YOU!!

Loneliness

2010-03-25T17:24:00.006-05:00

Loneliness can be so obscure
One minute I'm totally fine,
the next, the sadness slinks in.

The ache for my children has crept in
The pang of a mother's empty arms
Time absconded, never to be regained
Memories no more to be made

Will I never again feel my child's leg thrown over mine during a night of television watching?
Never again to kiss my child goodnight, or to kiss them awake

Mothering was an occupation that I took seriously
it was how I defined myself
Now who AM I?
Do I even care?

I want to be Mom...and not from afar.
I desire it more than anything.

The loneliness creeps in!

Friday

2010-03-19T12:26:00.005-05:00

Couldn't be more happy that today is Friday.

Just wish it was a nice day like the last two have been!

It's a quiet reading Friday in my classroom!!

LOVE IT!!

I am currently reading Sea of Monsters...Percy Jackson and the Olympians book 2!

I JUST finished The Hunger Games. AMAZING BOOK!!!

NOW...bring on the WEEKEND!!!!

Jodi Picoult

2010-03-13T11:02:00.003-06:00

An amazing night last night. I got to meet Jodi Picoult! She is just an amazing writer! I want to be a writer like that. I don't know how to do that...but I want to so much!!

And So It Ends

2010-02-28T20:24:00.002-06:00

So tonight we sit and watch the closing ceremony of the 2010 Winter Olympics.
So many memories of these games: Lindsey Vonn, Apolo Anton Ohno, Shaun White, Evan Lysacek....and so many more. So close for both men's and women's hockey!
I'm proud to be an American. Our total medal count was 37! Pretty amazing!

Starting Again

2010-02-09T19:30:00.003-06:00

I picked up my notebook again. I have started writing again. I got caught up in my life, and I stopped writing. I recently stumbled upon my notebook the other day. I read all that I had written, and realized that I wanted to resume.
I've decided to title it An Unremarkable Life.
I'm starting again.

52nd Annual Grammy Awards

2010-01-31T22:13:00.005-06:00

We are watching the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards. Except for the current song I am listening to by Emmenem/Travis Barker/Lil Wayne/Drake....which SUCKS....I am truly enjoying this show.
Music has always been my life.
It's been fun watching the people they are pairing up. Music is such an amazing form of expression!!
I will say, for the record, that Taylor Swift cannot sing. She can do fine in the studio...when somebody mixes it so she sounds good. She sang live with Stevie Nicks, and it actually HURT my ears. She was completely off key!
Now...it's 10:15 and it is still on. I need to get to bed...but it's still going on.

The Truth

2010-01-25T16:39:00.013-06:00

I want to step out of my past, as a woman whose children would rather live with their father, and step into the present. The fact that I AM, indeed a mother! Sometimes I don't even feel like a mother any more.
I want them to remember that family is forever. That they can survive challenges, even unexpected ones that are terrifically sad. Change is inevitable and you can always survive it. That's what I hope I have taught my own children by my life. That even through change, you can come out the other side with joy and greater understanding. Something new always in the future, but it's got the potential for so many amazing things. To remember what the joy of what it was at the time, even though it's not that any more.
The truth is the best thing that I can give my children. The truth to tell it like it is. To mean what I say. To be open to anything they want to tell me.
To love them TRULY UNCONDITIONALLY!
We need families so we can learn what it means to love ALL THE WAY!!
NO MATTER WHAT happens...I will always be there for my family!
I hope that they always know, long after I am gone, that they were TRULY LOVED!!

Rosie

2010-01-25T16:18:00.002-06:00

I am so excited to watch Rosie on Oprah!! She cracks me up!!

VIKINGS

2010-01-23T13:35:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is the big game. I'm trying to be half-hearted about it because I can't handle being so disappointed by this team! I must say though, I AM starting to get excited!! We are having Mike and Jolyne over to watch it. It should be a fun time...even better if we win!!!

The Sadness of Addiction

2010-01-19T08:57:00.001-06:00

Report: Jeff Conaway Injured in Fall at Home

By Tim Nudd

Tuesday January 19, 2010 09:05 AM EST

Jeff Conaway

Kathy Hutchins/Hutchins Photo

Actor Jeff Conaway, who played Kenickie in the 1978 movie Grease, was badly injured in a fall at his Califo rnia home on Monday, according to reports. Conaway, 59, fell down a staircase and suffered a broken hip, a broken arm, a fractured neck and a brain hemorrhage, according to TMZ.com, based on information from his girlfriend, Vikki Lizzi. He was rushed to hospital for surgery. No other details are currently available. Conaway has battled substance-abuse problems throughout his life. He appeared on Celebrity Fit Club in 2006, but had to leave due to a drug relapse. He later appeared on two seasons of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Conan

2010-01-12T16:58:00.001-06:00

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I
want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second
feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I
love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky.
That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my
bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight
Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson
every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant
everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed
up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally
hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the
future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would
have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of
ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting
audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months,
with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their
terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their
long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight
Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years
the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I
sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to
accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider
to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight
Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move
I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David
Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot.
That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be
unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy
hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is
for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably
hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The
Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its
destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the
Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I
believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set
the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have
no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this
quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of,
for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair;
it's always been that way.

Yours,
Conan

music swells
end credits

Waiting

2009-12-23T13:21:00.002-06:00

I am sitting in the hospital waiting room. Angela is having surgery, and I am waiting!
This hysterectomy has been a long time coming. She is so anxious to have this done.
I am anxious for it to be over.
I am not worried about it turning out ok.
I am just anxious for her to be done.
The doctor seems really good. He told me he would take good care of her.
He came in today to do this surgery. He isn't even supposed to work today.
He is only doing HER surgery today.
It's a good time to sit here an count my blessings.
I am thankful for Angela.
Christmas Eve is tomorrow. I am mostly ready.
I will be going home tonight to finish up my Christmas stuff.
Angela has to stay overnight.
I will miss her at home. Luckily, Cali is going to be there to keep me company!

Tuesday

2009-11-24T07:50:00.003-06:00

Today is a Tuesday....but it is a Friday to me. It's the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and it's the end of the work week for me.
My Aunty Joyce is in town from Colorado. She has never been to our house. I will try to invite her to come over during this time. I miss her, and would love to spend some time with her.

Moving On

2009-11-23T09:07:00.002-06:00

A new day....a new thought!
Feeling blessed and loved today!
I tend to forget, even though I shouldn't, that I am truly loved by many!
Some people may have a hard time showing love to me for all the reasons that they have.
However, those who CAN show their love do so in amazing and abundant ways.
I am truly blessed!!!!

How to Love

2009-11-05T08:00:00.002-06:00

I am actually filled with extreme hatred right now.
I actually hate a person!
I know it's not right...but I can't seem to help it.
No foresight.....absolutely no thought about long term remifications.
Unfair practices.
I actually am seething with hatred.
It's not the right way to think.
I can only change what I have control over.

To Rake or Not to Rake

2009-10-24T12:56:00.003-05:00

After a busy morning, I have been dreading the AWFUL task on this FIRST beautiful weekend day in a month.

To rake or not, that is the question
So, today, as I gaze out at the deep carpet of leaves on my lawn, I am turning to some experts to help me decide if my Saturday will be spent bent over and blistered.

Bruce Butterfield, research director for the National Gardening Association says many people rake because they believe a heavy covering of leaves could kill their lawn in the fall if it is still growing. But he said most lawns are going dormant in the fall anyway as temperatures drop and daylight fades, so that is not a big issue. He said he many leaves also tend to decompose by the spring.

Still, to avoid a too-heavy, wet coat of leaves he doesn’t rake: He mows. At the very time the leaves are super crunchy he runs the mower until they become about the size of a quarter. That way, Butterfield says, the leaves can stay on the ground and decompose more quickly to allow nutrients to seep into the soil.

Butterfield says he sees suburbanites rake often – and thinks it’s good for them to get the exercise,

but “I like to mimic what I see happens in forest and nature. The landfills don’t want the leaves, you can’t burn them anymore and you create so much work for yourself when you can deal with them in place.”

Yet others say raking leaves really depends on your goals. Some people like the look of only grass on their lawn. Some say it’s their experience a heavy mat of leaves will create bare patches if sunlight can’t get through by spring. And others, are well, just lazy: These are the people who say they are going to let Mother Nature take care of the lawn.

“If you are trying to maintain a lawn, the leaves can mat up and basically cover it and could (kill off portions)” said John O’Keefe, Fisher Museum museum coordinator for Harvard Forest in Petersham. “On the other hand, if you are not trying to maintain a lawn but a yard, the leaves provide nutrients.”

It also can depend on the type of leaves. Oak and beech tree leaves take far longer to decompose than maples, ash and birch leaves. And if it’s not grass you are worried about but a garden, leaves may provide a perfect warm blanket until spring.

Hmm, I don’t have an answer yet. But I’m leaning toward O’Keefe’s idea about redefining my lawn as a yard.

God put the leaves there. Maybe I’ll just wait until He takes them away.

(not all this is my own words...cut and pasted from Beth Daley from the Globe)

A New Day

2009-10-13T12:06:00.002-05:00

It's a new day.
I am not hating my job as much.
I am feeling better about what I am doing.
I see a difference in the kids.
It's fun to see!!
I am still struggling with a few....but that might not change.
I am meeting some staff....have begun to eat with the English department.
I won't go so far as to say I enjoy my job, because I don't.
However, I might one day!
I am at least open to that.

Despair

2009-09-29T07:45:00.004-05:00

I am beginning to feel despair about my new job.
When I talk about it, I realize that I am sad about my placement.
Don't get me wrong, there are many classes that I love teaching, etc.
BUT...my one class that is so horrible is killing me.
Besides that, I feel like I am dying of loneliness and isolation.
I do so well when I am part of something great, where collaboration is central, and where I am surrounded by friends. Currently none of those things are happening.
I am sure this is a great place to work, but I am just so isolated.
I need to change something, but don't know what or how.
I went out last night for dinner with a group of my dear friends. We all used to work together until the district reorganized. Now they are mostly together, spread out between two schools, and I am here at the high school.
I hear their stories of work, people, adventures, gossips.....and I am no longer part of any of it.
I left last night feeling sad and lonely....after being surrounded by my friends.
I wish I knew what to change....because I would change it.
I wrote an email last night to a few administrators which was fairly rude and wenchy.....but I am so frustrated, that I don't care how they take it. I am used to being close to my administrators. I am used to them hearing my requests, and working to help me figure it out. Not so the case here.
Maybe I will get fired from here...and I can go back to the middle school and pick up where I left off.
I need something to change.....I just wish I knew how to make it happen!

A Day at Brusnwick Bowl

2009-08-03T14:23:00.006-05:00

Last month I took the kids to the arcade on a rainy day!
We had quite a few chuckles.

Words to Lift Me Up

2009-07-24T16:23:00.003-05:00

This morning as I was driving to the gym, I was feeling a bit down, and wondering when this sadness would leave me. I was listening to The Refuge (my favorite radio station), and the Lord gave me two songs this morning to comfort me.
Music is my worship language, and the Lord speaks to me so often through music.
The first son was Big Enough by Ayiesha Woods. I've heard the song a zillion times, but the words were for my heart this morning.

Lyrics to Big Enough :
You turned water into wine - how extraordinary
Gave sight to the blind - and still I carry
My own load when you told me
To take your yoke ‘cause yours is easy

And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't wanna believe
That you're big enough - but you're big enough yeah!
But you're big enough Jesus

You turned darkness into light - keep my lamp burning
And you are my everything
There's no denying, your love is so amazing
And even though my problems seem typical
Nothing for you is ever too difficult
You never have reservations - love without limitations

Then, for some reason, the Refuge played Selah, which is kinda of OLD school for this radio station. But as I was listening, and singing, I realized the words were for me.

You Raise Me Up by Selah
When I am down, and oh my soul, so weary.
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be.
Then I am still and wait here in the silence.
Until You come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than I can be.

The Lord is so good to me.

My Verse for Today

2009-07-23T22:52:00.001-05:00

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Saddness

2009-07-23T12:19:00.002-05:00

I was doing better....I swear I was.
Lifest was so rejuvenating for me.
Another day.....sadness.
I did nothing to deserve this
but need to stop asking
why me?
resilience is what I need
what I am praying for
Jesus.....he does answer prayers
so hard to see the reasoning behind this
need to trust in his wisdom
quit thinking about my hurt

My Challenge

2009-07-18T08:35:00.003-05:00

When I was at Lifest last weekend, one speaker, Bob Lenz talked about what was getting in the way of my relationship with God. Through the course of the talk, I realized that it was my pain getting in the way. I had allowed this situation with my children to take me over. I had gotten stuck in my own little pity party. This situation is something that God has completely under control. I need to trust him. He wants what's best for all of us. I find that I need to use that overused saying: Let Go and Let God! It is over used, but in my situation it's 100% true. I am but an empty shell, here for a greater purpose than to get so wrapped up in my own hurts. This earth is just a temporary situation.....my hope comes in eternal life. The Lord can handle my pain, my disappointments. He can even turn things around. I just need to trust in HIM!!!

By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North

2009-07-10T12:13:00.001-05:00

Here is the song....

By Your Side

2009-07-10T12:09:00.005-05:00

Last night at 11:30 I saw 10th Avenue North. This was a group of young men singing for the glory of God. Their words were powerful. I was waiting for them to sing By Your Side. As they did, I was struck by the words of this song. I know this song and love it, but when I was watching them sing it, the words really hit me. See the lyrics:

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

Paris: 'Daddy Has Been the Best Father'

2009-07-07T18:31:00.001-05:00

This is heartbreaking!!

Michael Jackson Tribute Montage

2009-07-07T11:18:00.001-05:00

Today is the day of the memorial service for Michael Jackson. It's a day of mourning, as well as celebration!
I will miss you MJ!

Words of a Dying Boy

2009-07-01T14:45:00.002-05:00

A student in Farmington has just decided to stop his chemotherapy and radiation due to the fact that after many, many years of fighting this disease of cancer, he is not going to win. On his Caring Bridge website, he wrote these words yesterday. This young man is 16.

Through dying eyes, its a new world i see.

The colors are so much brighter.
The little things grow bigger day by day
And burdens grow even lighter.

As times grow shorter, you'd think i'd grow sadder
But it makes me cherish everything more.
And with each passing day, its easier to say
Live this one like never before.

And as sadness looms, i grow in faith.
As i trust in God for safety
this situation is our of my hands.
And i know that he will guide me

At a passing glance, there's nothing to me.
but there's more than meets the eye.
I see the world in a much different view
Than the average person passing by

And i wish everyone could see
the world through the eye of a dying man
because maybe, just maybe
people would live and see the world like i can.

Rosie Writes....

2009-06-27T22:03:00.000-05:00

what still remains

06.27.09 at 12:13 am in in the news, fame, love

after i heard he died
we went on the boat
to watch the sunset
I felt numb

nothing - empty
his life the Hollywood dream
his death it's bitter truths
lonely

the light once flowed thru him
directly from the source
a shining stream poured out of him
never ending

few can even imagine the high of that

and the confusion it must bring
when u somehow become
what u saw in the others
who came before u

the ones who made u dream of dancing
revered him
fred astaire phoned
the boy from gary indiana

the boy who had the beauty beaten out of him
by the man who gave him life
then put him to work at 5
childhood lost

with no remember when - 2 get back 2

money cant buy it
publicists can deny it
but u must live it
ur truth

so what exactly do we mourn
the man
the music
the myth

we all saw him suffer
as his face fell in on itself
friends and family unable to reach in
he unable to reach out

many made millions
looking the other way
as he invited young boys to his bed
he turned into the thing he loathed

the man in the mirror
had no idea how to change his ways

"i've lived my life the lonely
a soul that cries of shame
with handicapped emotions
save me now from what still remains"

so now the crowds gather
endless tributes
the kind of love and adoration he seemed to crave
and he is not here to feel any of it

breaks my heart in every way
for his children
for the child he was
for the dreams he tried to live up to

i turned the boat around
looking at my 2 young children
happy with the wind in their hair
salty sea spray splashing their tiny faces

a storm was moving in
there thru the clouds
a beautiful rainbow appeared
and finally i cried

compassion
forgiveness
the only way thru is thru
start with u

I Can't Stop

2009-06-27T19:37:00.003-05:00

I am a victim of the press coverage of Michael Jackson's death. The media blitz is constant, and I can't get enough. He was one of my favorite performers.
Yesterday Lisa Marie Presley wrote a long entry on her blog:

Friday, June 26, 2009 He Knew

Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.

I can't recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.

At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."

I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.

14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn't predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.

The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "Normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to "save him" I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn't know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.

When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.

Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson's being or actions.

I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.

I was in over my head while trying.

I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.

The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.

After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.

Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.

At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.

As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.

Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.

I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.

He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.

I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.

The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.

I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.

~LMP

Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T22:26:00.002-05:00

Today was a rough day in Hollywood.
Farrah Fawcett died this morning. She lost her long battle with cancer. She was 62.

Then tonight we find out that the King of Pop has died. This is so shocking that I cannot quite wrap my mind around it. I loved this man....and when I was in high school, I had posters of him up in my dorm room at Hillcrest. I know he was a bizarre individual....but the talent was unquestionable.
Chloe and Isaiah were upset that we made them stop playing video games so we could watch the coverage.
We told them that one day they would want to remember where they were when they heard that Michael Jackson had died.
He was truly iconic. Part of me is glad that he is out of his inner pain.

Lots of sadness tonight as we watched news accounts and interviews of both Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett's lives and death.

This was the poster I had in my room

Unknown

2009-06-10T17:09:00.002-05:00

The unknown
It's all around me
it engulfs me
How to get out of this;
How to move forward

Where is justice?
Where is my peace?

Days drag on and on
There must be a better way

Luke at Soccer

2009-06-08T18:24:00.003-05:00

Luke had a soccer tournament this past weekend.
The weather was horrible, but their team played so well.
They lost in the championship game to Dakota Rev.
Great job boys!!
I got to talk to Luke too, even if it was just for a few minutes!

Kind Words

2009-06-04T15:38:00.000-05:00

Words my mother sent me:

God will make a way, when there seems to be no way,

He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me,

He will be my guide, hold me closely to His side,

In love and strength for each new day, He will make a way.

Hard Times

2009-06-03T17:53:00.004-05:00

My children decided that they would rather live with their dad, so they recently moved out.
I have no idea who I am if I am not a mom...especially in the summer.
This is still too fresh to write about logically.
More to come

2009-05-20T07:43:00.001-05:00

"Commitment without courage lacks strength.
Courage without commitment lacks staying power.
Overcomers lack neither"
David Jeremiah

I'm going to need COURAGE!!!

2009-05-17T16:23:00.001-05:00

Difficult times require more reliance on the Lord!!!

9 year old guitar prodigy YUTO MIYAZAWA performs Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train on Ellen Degeneres

2009-05-14T13:42:00.001-05:00

Bruce Springsteen Concert 5 11 09 047

2009-05-12T11:01:00.001-05:00

SWEET!!

1 Corinthians 13:4-6

2009-05-09T18:56:00.000-05:00

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

THIS IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!

Religions Views

2009-05-01T11:58:00.000-05:00

I took this off a friends Facebooik Page:

Andrew Rogness wrote this in his CaringBridge journal on 4/30/09:

"I believe any religious group has elements of [old order Amish control] - that our care of doctrine can often ride herd on our care of people's right to question and explore the many wonderful queries that faith intrinsically entails. In this day of global interconnectedness and global challenges, we need more grace and openness to others' wisdom, while at the same time finding inspiration within our own tradition. I am thankful for a tradition that allows that and is not suspect of differing beliefs, pieties and mores."

Amen to that.

Seth Skydiving

2009-04-26T10:20:00.001-05:00

Here is Seth skydiving!

I Just Found This Online

2009-04-25T21:24:00.002-05:00

Who are you/how did you come to AIM/what do you do now? Seth Simonson from Adventures In Missions on Vimeo.

Spring has Sprung

2009-04-25T10:21:00.001-05:00

A trip to the Arboretum and a camera:

Square Butts Burger King Music Video with SpongeBob Square Pants

2009-04-20T14:52:00.001-05:00

What do you think?
Appropriate or Inapporopriate?