What Makes You Angry?

What Makes You Angry? This was the writing prompt that I used today with my high school students. I always write when my students are writing. As I wrote each hour, I added to what I had written before. I started out with big picture, governmental, societal issues that make me angry. Then, I moved to injustices that have happened to me, personally, which I never seem to get closure on. By the time I got to my last class of the day, my final writing was very eye opening to me. Don't get me wrong, not eye opening like I didn't know I DO this, but just eye opening about what a whiner I can be. It went like this:

Not getting my own way makes me angry. Truth is, deep down, I really like to get my own way. Let's face it, don't we all like to get our own way? I wonder if this is actually a true statement, aren't there some out there who truly like to give and give? Well, not me. I think to pout, either internally or externally (or both sometimes) when I don't get my own way leads me to rather passive aggressive behavior....childish, ridiculous behavior. Performances not quite fitting to a 44 year old. I pout, pull away, pretend. Why? I truly only hurt myself in this process. To top it off, I am not very good at holding grudges, so then it just turns into short term pouting. Even less effective!
So, there is my confessional...a full day's worth of pondering things that make me angry.
So, I pose the same question to you: What Makes You Angry?

Old Friends

Through the beauty of facebook, we all have been able to connect with old friends from our past. What I am really enjoying right now, is the connecting to old friends who I might not have even been that good of friends with. What I am finding out now is that some of these folks are people I would REALLY like to spend time with and get to know better.
I have an old neighbor who I rode the school bus with every day to school, had a crush on her older brother, but didn't really spend a lot of time with her. As an adult, I find her witty, clever and quite smart. I'm actually working on getting together with her...hopefully sometime in the near future.
I also have a couple of Hillcrest friends who I was friends with, but not close friends. I find myself drawn to how they write.
All three of these women are Wonder Women to me. The way they juggle everything in their lives. I am excited when they publish a blog post, or when they post something thought provoking on facebook. Often times they provide me with a chuckle that I need at that exact moment.
What I am mostly contemplating now is how life changes people. People I may not have been good friends with in high school, for many reasons, are now people I am drawn to by the way they express themselves on a computer. They make me want to get to know them better.
This cyber-world, while not new, is a wonderful way for people to express themselves, myself included. We all have a need to feel heard.
These three women especially, I am indebted to their online friendships. While it may seem lame to some, I find them powerful!

Loneliness

Loneliness can be so obscure
One minute I'm totally fine,
the next, the sadness slinks in.

The ache for my children has crept in
The pang of a mother's empty arms
Time absconded, never to be regained
Memories no more to be made

Will I never again feel my child's leg thrown over mine during a night of television watching?
Never again to kiss my child goodnight, or to kiss them awake

Mothering was an occupation that I took seriously
it was how I defined myself
Now who AM I?
Do I even care?

I want to be Mom...and not from afar.
I desire it more than anything.

The loneliness creeps in!

Jodi Picoult

An amazing night last night. I got to meet Jodi Picoult! She is just an amazing writer! I want to be a writer like that. I don't know how to do that...but I want to so much!!

Starting Again

I picked up my notebook again. I have started writing again. I got caught up in my life, and I stopped writing. I recently stumbled upon my notebook the other day. I read all that I had written, and realized that I wanted to resume.
I've decided to title it An Unremarkable Life.
I'm starting again.

Ouch

I'm in a part of my story that is now beginning to be painful to write.
I wasn't prepared to feel these things.
I knew it would be cathartic to write this book, but I wasn't ready to start feeling things just yet.
This book might just turn out to be something that heals at the same time!

just thinking

I know I have too much going on right now.
I have so much going on at work. I am involved in many committees, and very excited at the possibilities ahead of me in my career.
I am also very overwhelmed in my schooling right now. I absolutely LOVE going to school and learning new things. This is why I keep going back. I am working on my Reading Specialist License, and have only 2 classes left. I should be done in early summer.
I am also becoming very passionate about my writing. Any time I can find a few minutes, I pull out my notebook and my pen and get to work on that.
I would really just like to not work and sit home and do this.
I was telling Angela it would be fantastic if we went away for a weekend to a cabin or something, and just wrote. Unfortunately we can't go to my parent's cabin, so that leaves us at home. ( I don't want to spend money to get away to write.)
Maybe when we are in Florida I can get some writing done.
The task keeps getting bigger and bigger the further I get into it.
I am so energized by this task, and depleted at the same time.
I love the fact that I have this dream, it's out there, it's something I can reach for....and have the ability to make this dream come true...in some way!